Learning to be a man

When I was a boy- I did

boyish things.

I fought and raged,

hands and fists

flying in arguments

“My way or the highway!”

Boyish anger!

“I’m right and go fuck yourself.”

Joined the military,

drank heavily

like the other boys

Sex wherever

I could find it –

drugging

drinking

fucking.

What boys do in their boyish ways!

I’ve lied, cheated, and

betrayed those I loved.

A man feels shame, a boy

rarely does.

A man atones for his wrongs,

but a boy don’t know how.

I am atoning for the harm I’ve

done with my boyish ways,

atoning for the harm to myself

and other.

Fighting, I still fight the just

cause,

but instead of arguing

with my anger –

I am learning to

listen more

and talk less.

My hands broken and gnarled

from fighting,.

I now prefer the embrace

and warmth of

a handshake.

Now a man

I realize more arguments

won with kindness

Now a man

less need to

win an argument

or be right.

More of a need

to listen and

yes— love.

As a man

I will not go

off to war

to kill another.

Most wars fought by

boys trying

to be men

lead by old men

wishing they could be

boys.

Now a man,

nearing sixty

I’m still learning what it

is to be a man.

More inclined to listen,

less inclined to be right.

Refusing to hurt

others or be unkind.

In seeing so much of men

acting in boyish ways

warring

fighting

angry

I’m more inclined to be

the man I truly want to be.

kind

respectful

compassionate

loving

I am learning to be a man.

Ecstatic nature of love

This past weekend at the KUMC – a Methodist church in Pennsylvania, we had been partnering with in the Dominican Republic. Wonderfully inspiring to be working with these folks, who are very committed to helping the poor, but the model of their work in the past had been charitable, relief, versus sustainable – i.e., assisting the poor, building houses, but ultimately it doesn’t address the real deep seated issues of lack of poverty, at best it is a bandaid, though sometimes a bandaid is needed.  I was very please and impressed that they could put aside their evangelical and very Christian approach for a moment, to focus on the dynamics of the issues. I put aside my aversion to evangelical religions, and between the two points, there was a meeting of the minds and spirit

It was good to see this and having to articulate my spirituality.  My spirituality is rather simple – even for a complicated kind of guy – be kind, do good works in the world, and approach your life and what you do with love. If that is Christian, Quaker, Buddhist, Sufi, or otherwise –marvelous – but god is too big to put in the box of religion. If I understand the concept of god.  My spirituality is that all life — plants, animals, even annoying mosquitoes, and fascists all have spirit.  In the Quaker sense, to see god in every creature.

I have often hanged my tarnished halo on the Zen-Quaker hat rack. Zen Buddhism, probably the closest to how I think about this god/ spirituality thing. There is no god. There is only this moment. This moment is life. As Krishanmurti says. “Question your truths.”  Religion is for the lazy, spirituality for those willing to challenge all of their assumptions and stand naked before their truth.  It is too easy to be fed pablum, nostrums, and prepackaged truths. I like the reminder at the Zen monastery, the ordinary rock in the place of the Buddha. A rock has Buddha nature. A rock is Buddha.  Buddha is the rock. Throw that through the window of your assumptions!

Lovely folk at the church, I enjoyed their warm and generous hospitality, and I appreciate how our very different approaches to spirituality have come to a meeting.  The meeting is attending and helping the poorest of the poor. Though neither I nor anyone else has much of an idea what Jesus said, I imagine, if he was good guy, like they say he was  – he would say — Be kind to each other and help the poor. If people kept that as their main understanding of Christianity, Islam, or any other religion — I would be happy.

Interesting, this morning, working on drawings the liberation of faith and humanity drawings, that I have been working on for awhile. This morning a Muslim woman with her breast exposed, and her chador and hair flying in the wind. It is symbolic of all the people of the Muslim world embracing freedom in the light of the Arabic spring. I fear that we humans are too primitive to handle spirituality.  True spirituality, stripped away from our gods, stripped clean of theology, stripped clean of our prayers, of our childish notions of heaven and hell, and stood naked with our questions and fear.  True spirituality. Where we are naked and alone, looking to the skies, cloaked only in our wonderment and awe, breathing, awake, listening with our whole being to the whisper of the wind, feeling the erotic thrill of a warm spring rain, and breathing fully the enigma of being.

Spirituality – god? theology? being? No, it is simply, being present, attentive to breathing. Conscious. Awake.

And in this wakeful state, if we also can care for others less fortunate, beautiful. But let it come, not out of our narcissism, but out of our passion for being radically alive.  Radically present to the moment.

This Saturday I met some wonderful people at Peace Abbey in Sherborn, Massachusetts. I performed some of my peace songs and stories and showed some of my peace art. It was great to meet so many inspirational people involved in peace work. I love the energy of peace abbey and felt like I had connected with my tribe.  Sadly, this wonderful healing place is in dire financial difficulties

.http://www.peaceabbey.org/ways-to-give-2/donate/

If you can help to support the peace abbey in whatever way you can it would be greatly appreciated.  If you are in the Boston area, definitely do stop by the Peace Abbey and visit.

Here is a poem to  celebrate the courage of the peace makers

Celebrate Uncommon Courage!

Celebrate uncommon courage!

The Berrigans, Chavez, Emma Goldman, Martin Luther King,

Mandela, Gandhi, and you here now.

Uncommon courage which is found more

commonly than we believe.

Uncommon courage to speak your truth

and let your  voice be heard.

Uncommon courage to ask:

Why go to war?

Why follow orders?

Is there another way?

Is my president wrong?

Why should my child

be sent to war?

Would my president send

his children to war?

Celebrate the heroes of uncommon

courage.

Celebrate the courage

found in the day to day.

Celebrate the child who speaks

for peace.

Celebrate the person who refuses

to march off to war.

Celebrate the heroes of

everyday peace making

Let your love be the light to illuminate

Let love be the wisdom of the

uncommon courage.

Let love inspire you for

uncommon courage

in deeds and action so bold

and fearless.

In our loving uncommon

courage

we can indeed change the

world

to a more peaceful sane place

to live.

create loving rEvolutions,

Namaya

In Dominican republic with my dear friend Ruben and his family in Santiago. He has been a leader in this very poor community and a a tremendous inspiration to all of u s. we had been working with Ruben and our foundation Grace Cares. We have projects in India, Guatemala, Dominican republic, and have done projects in Peru, and Palestine.
This week Zoe and I brought our nieces grace, jaida, and their friends nan, and Anoukia. So much fun being. So much fun being back on the farm and visiting some of our community projects.
Very inspired by the new tin roof on the h igh school. Last term the rain was pouring into the class room! Today it was a joy to see the kids dry but we still have so much work to do. We have a road we want to help put in this year. The road into the area is. Ompletely washed out. One of the poorest areas in the DR. But great warm spirit of kindness. I do miss being back here, and enjoy our family here.

In Florida celebrating North Florida’s Women’s Health Center, which a brave group of young of women had founded this center Thirty years ago.  This past Saturday was a celebration of the clinic and their pioneering work in women’s health and reproductive choices.  The choices is — either the women have their abortions in back alley operations that more times than not, injures the girl/ woman, or kills them, or provides them with medically safe abortions. Nasty business this abortion.  The real question is – why isn’t there sex education, birth control information provided in every classroom in America. If the conservatives are so opposed to abortion, wouldn’t it make sense for them to support sex education?  Wouldn’t it be logical that they are actively in support of young men and women to have this information available?

Yet, because there are no support services for young women if they do decide to keep their babies, what kind of life do they have.  A young woman, a teen, without an eduction, a job, health care, or day care services is consigned to a life of poverty for them and their baby.  Wouldn’t it be marvelous if all of them so called “right to lifers”  guaranteed a home, a job, an eduction for the child and mom?

Ultimately, the real key to preventing abortions is starting sex education in the grade schools. Let us face it, for the past three or four million years of human evolution,  the average life span was probably less than 25 year, and so by the time of twelve to fifteen girls were pregnant.  When you are a teen, you generally have your hormones raging and you’re thinking about SEX.  The choice is clear — either the information and means to prevent pregnancy or abortion, or an unwanted pregnancy for a young girl.

North Florida’s Women’s Health Center provides a vital service to young girls and women for the past thirty years.  I appreciate the courage and conviction of the people who staff and founded this center.

The highest duty of a

citizen is to ask questions

and demand accountability.

Michael Moore –

American patriot.

Sergeant Bales is a decorated soldier.

After he served three tours of duty

in Iraq and suffered multiple

injuries, brain trauma, and PTSD

he was ordered back to war.

Afghanistan, a quagmire, and

a feudal impoverished land,

where devout Muslims kill each other

for the heroin trade and less.

American soldiers  killed by

Afghani police and road-side bombs.

Fields of poppies line the roads

to Kabul.

When Sergeant Bales killed seventeen civilians –

was he awake in a nightmare?

Were the dying voices of fellow soldiers

shrieking

through his war shocked brain?

Did he even know what he did?

How do we atone for

those men, women, and children

he killed?

What is our obligation to

Sergeant Bales and his family?

What is our responsibility to

our soldiers and those killed?

From the Attorney General’s Office:

Why the US A Killed

Miss Liberty

1 Liberty Island

New York, New York

Miss Liberty had some

radical notions

and dangerous ideas.

Give me your tired,

your poor,
Your huddled masses

yearning to breathe free,

She had lately been

updating them

               Feed the hungry

               House the homeless

               make love not war

               end corporate thievery

Corporations could not abide by

such sentiments, so they gave the order

to the Attorney General, and then

The President declared

               Such a subversive is

               dangerous to America!

A drone plan loaded with rockets

leveled her home and rumor

has it,

killed her.

Though Miss Liberty’s body

has not yet been found

the government assured us

she and her dangerous notions

are quite dead.

Will the Paparazzi

ever leave me alone?

Last night a date with

Lady Gaga, but

the press & my fans

kept following us.

I guess it’s okay, she

made me breakfast before

she left this morning.

Meetings with directors &

producers who want to turn

my poems into feature

length movies.

Robin Williams

or Chris Rock to

play the lead?

A tour with a

stadium show?

Okay, I’ll agree

to the Dallas Cowboy

cheerleaders for the

half time show,

but not Janet Jackson–

she can’t keep

her clothes on.

“A poet’s life,

a poet’s life,”

I mumbled

as I slowly woke up.

 
namaya 3/2012